9.07.2010

Processing

This morning Dave and I slept in, ate a breakfast of amazing rolls, sausage and cheese. Dave got some of his beloved plum nectar and I'm sticking to airborne and mint tea. I've ended up with a bit of a chest cold. I'm so glad to be in Vilnius when it happened. Since we used to live here we don't feel any great pressure to go out picture taking and sight seeing plus we'll be here all week so there is plenty of time for wandering around the city. The cold has aggravated my slight flight vertigo so I am happy to hang out in my pj's and comfy socks for most of the day.

We've figured out there is no way to get the pictures off the camera till we get home so expect an explosion of posts after next week.

Being in Vilnius is a really strange feeling. It feels so normal and common and familiar it almost doesn't feel like we're still on vacation. We have so many memories here, and the unpleasant ones really do outweigh the good ones, that as beautiful as the city is it's been weighty to walk the streets and move around. It's going to take some time to mentally process what we're feeling and to just be here and enjoy the sights like any other visitor. Even the good memories are tinged with some melancholy because the people we had the good memories with aren't here to be with. Most have moved out of the country or further outside of Vilnius. We will meet with a couple people later is week and I feel like the connection will help.

We had such an amazing time in Amsterdam and such incredible connections with people we're feeling a bit of a let down and sadness to go from that to here where we're alone and remembering so much. It's a good feeling too though as we really felt we needed to feel this place where so much good real change began for us. It will be good to remember some of the old pressure and things that started us on the path to where we are at this moment. Then to see where we've been brought and feel and trust all that we've learned.

So feeling a little introspective and melancholy today but glad to get a chance to process and unpack and maybe feel like a huge part of our life has a bit more closure.

1 comment:

  1. Thinking of you! We all spoke of missing you today and then I found a roll of Hello Kitty tape at our local eastern grocery for you. It was meant to be!

    Which is not to trivialise the awesome (old awesome, like, awe-inspiring), heavy feelings you're having. I'm glad that your cold is making you sit and process. It's best to do it now instead of trying to untangle it a week from now.

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